The Age of innocence….

the whole day today there is absolutely only one thing bugging me….. I need to do something about my social life. I need to buck It up because anyone who knows me, most defo know im no homebodyi like my socializing… my flirting, my fake accent( no I dt have a confidence problem, its just part of my alter ego… Zoe)

I miss those days where I use to strout my stuff while walking into the club and pretending to not notice hundreds of eyes popping out at the sight of me….. ahhhhhhh… the good old days….

but wait a minute…. im not dead so there is A chance I can get all this back rite?

its just something about the stares, the cheeky smiles, the wanting- to-talk-to-u-but-am-intimidated feeling that a man gives u that actually makes your day…maybe I was young at that point of time… maybe it was all fun and games… maybe its time to get serious and find the right one…

the one thing that you come to realize as the age catches up…. its not as fun as it use to be… you stop wanting a million eyes glaring at you but you would just want that one special one to just look at you and tell u how beautiful you are…

the blardyyyy side effects of growing up…..

LOvEY DoVEy

until i don't find the man i want to marry i am going to stay single. come what may even hugh jackman is not gonna shake me( ok maybe a Lil :P) but i am adamant!a relationship is hard work.... unless you not prepared to give your whole self... don't bother giving anything at all...
only falling in love could give you so much of heartbreak. only falling in love could teach u to forgive over and over again, only falling in love could give you so much of self fulfillment. and once you feel all this.... its so difficult to turn back... sigh....
but this feelings have to be felt with an open heart... a healed heart and not a broken heart.
when u fall in love you lose yourself, u become a whole different being. something else takes over you. suddenly there is a fear... a fear of losing, a fear of something bigger than you that's going to come and take away what we have got. its good to have fear, it keeps us on our toes.
but then again there is a thin line between fear and insecurity.... i think at a certain point we all cross that line....

it comes with loving someone... its a fear of losing..... <3

Jury Duty...

Am i really as perfect as i think i am or am i just saying that to make myself feel better.
yes she may have the poise, the classiness the etiquette of a lady which i lack but is that what life is really all about?
life in my two cents is being over the edge, loud, laughter, messiness. drama, friends, family, eccentric, that sums up what life is in my words.

i could be all womanly and be proper..... but who the hell are u trying to impress?
i guess carrie bradshaw is right... there are some woman in this world that are made just to make us feel bad of ourself.

im never gonna apologize for being who i am.
life is too short to be wasted on impressing the masses.
take me for what i am..... not the idea of what i could be in your head.
fine im not mummy material. but i have enough culture, enough respect, for me to keep everyone happy.

your outer look does not determine whats in your heart. and it never will.

a saree clad girl can be as deceiving as any girl with a short skirt. so why this double standards?

is living your life in your own terms means that your free to be judged by anyone or everyone? is it worth the misery?

live life king size..... do not compromise your believe but bend the rules a little once in a while. give yourself a pat... wake up.... face the real world... and let yourself to feel alive again.
do not live in this facade just to satisfy the barking dogs.
ill bend the rules and show them that we can be good daughters, sisters, wife and daughter in law and mother too.

i am on a chetan bhagat high right now. :) why? in 2 weeks i have grinded 3 of his books. i have to say i am presently suprise by his writting. his books a are fun, crazy. disfunctional with a deep underlying message. i have to say its been ages since i read a book and laughed at the humour of it. 2 states made me smile with its simplicity. bhagat s book raise the topic of
WhATs the BIG DEAL with inter racial marriage?
why the big hooo haaa? when two people already love each other i think they already know what they are getting into..... so why all this sudden interference from parents, aunties, uncles, grand parents, great grandparents?
i personally think parents should only remind the kids and not order them that it will be difficult.
im not condoning inter racial LOVE nor am i condemning it but i am a strong believer in do what makes your heart happy.
but at the end of the day... u cant blame the parents for feeling what they feel.

BUT...

in the words of the beautiful Dalai Lama.....

The Religion OF thE world Is HUMANITY...

everyone should start leaning that and all Shall be Well........ almost..... fingers crossed.... ;)

yet again im back to feeling lonely.....

this familiar feeling...makes me just wanna well up and cry...

why fight ur way through when u know u were gonna leave?...

im not as strong as you think..

my heart is numb..... i cant feel anything...

i try to smile..... fake as it may be...

i tried my best.... maybe it was just not meant to be...

but why must it hurt so much?

There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
~ by George Sand ~

journey....

im sorry...
my insecurities takes over me...
i don't want you to leave... i want you here... right here... by my side...
i don't say it..... but that's my only wish...
day after day i find my self loving even more...
how can i stop my self from self destructing??
life has been reduced to loving you....
you are my solace...
u make sense...
your permanent.... but why doesn't my heart want to believe it?
maybe because i have loved and lost so many times....
please forgive me for being me....
my insecurities takes over me...
im sorry....... :(